I have a secret......

I have a semi-scandalous secret.... I love The Maury Show. Love it. Here are some points I would like to make about the Maury Show.
-Maury is the best dressed 71 year old in the entire world
-Maury is likely the only 71 year old in the entire world that let's younger people swear that much and talk about all that random sex
-Knowing that there are people out there who don't know who of six guys is the father of their babies, makes me feel better about my life
-You can never get sick of hearing "When it comes to (fill in age here - example: five month old) (fill in name here - example: Lafawnda), (fill in name here - example: Dwayne).... you are .... NOT the father" and "The lie detector determined that that ... WAS a lie"

Now, here are some things to think about before you go on Maury:
-If your loved one is bringing you on Maury and won't tell you why, it's not going to be good
-If your loved one is bringing you on Maury, she just had a baby and it doesn't really look like you, get ready to give your DNA
-If your loved one is bringing you on Maury and she thinks you're cheating on her and while you're waiting in the green room or in the limo on the way to the show, if there is a sexy girl who's willing to make out with you the second she meets you, SHE IS A DECOY. Do not make out with her. And please, like Billy on today's show, do not "expose" yourself to the sexy decoy.
-If you're going on Maury and you're not sure who of these 25 guys is the father of your child, you should perhaps sit down with your day planner/journal and a calendar, look up the reproductive cycle online and try to narrow it down..... just a little bit